Anybody need a laugh?

So, inspired by my sister-in-law's life saving diet tips, I borrowed from the library an American Heart Association cookbook:

Sidebar: She really did save a life by learning and absorbing everything about healthy eating and cooking. About 8 years ago she and my brother were changing around their life insurance and had to have some blood work done. My brothers cholesterol came back...get this...in the mid 500's! I remember sitting on my grandmas couch hearing this. I couldn't believe it. I love my brother. So, Stacie took the problem into her own hands and saved his life. His cholesterol is now below 200. Thank you Stacie, for that and soooo much more.

Anyway, so yesterday I picked out a new recipe from my cookbook-Beef Skillet Oriental, a stir fry dish. I had to make a special trip to the grocery store to get the stuff for it:

flank steak

sherry

ginger root

fresh garlic

beef broth

snow peas

cauliflower

red bell pepper

I come home, start mincing and chopping (with the help of my mini chef Gracie) trimming and washing. I had to call my dad to find out what the heck to do with ginger root. And fresh garlic. Anyway, in all I'd say the preparation took about 45 minuets and 50 dirty dishes. Then to cook it you had to follow these steps, adding one thing at a time. Okay, so I got it all put in the skillet and we're just waiting for the sauce to thicken at which point I said to Merkle "this is the most labor intensive meal I have ever made."

Okay, sauce isn't thickening. So I reach for more cornstarch to add. Like 3 tablespoons worth. Still not thickening. Alright, well, the rice (brown of course) is done so let's just eat. I take a bite of soggy, overdone cauliflower...AAARRRGGHH!!! Spit it in the sink. Merkle comes out, insists on tasting for himself. I beg him not to. ARRRRGGHH!!! He spits it in the sink. Guess what? Instead of using cornstarch to thicken the sauce, I had been using baking soda!!!! Have you ever tasted baking soda! Have you ever tasted a mouthful? I wanted to call 911. Unreal.