Friday, November 27, 2009


Well, how did this happen? What? you say. That's my basement people! For 37 years I have managed to not host a major holiday and then BAM! 4 days before Thanksgiving I get it in my head that I want to do it. And I have to tell was fabulous!
Let me introduce you to my family: In front with his back to us is my cousin Tommy. He's severely autistic. Doesn't speak, never has. Next to him is his mom, my Aunt Maureen, my dads sister. Then my mom, my dads BFF Rudy, my dad, my father in law George, the Grace is sitting on my mother in law, Janet's lap. Then Emily on Merkle's lap. Then my cousins Laura and Bill and Nathaniel, Laura's son.

My parents already had the turkey so they brought it over the day before along with their deluxe roaster thing. I read the directions and Merkle and I got up at 6 a.m. the next morning to wash it (dis-gust-ing) and throw it into the roaster. It was supposed to be done at 12-ish, eaten around 1. Well guess what? It was done 2 hours later at 9 a.m. and completely dried up by 1. I tried to rally the troops for a Thanksgiving Day breakfast but it didn't pan out.
I think Merkle must have put some Xanax in my coffee that morning because I was so calm and relaxed I hardly recognised myself.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Okay, so my dear friend Carrie and I had the most hysterical conversation on the phone today. I laughed so much my cheeks hurt. Carrie wants to go to China. And I want to go with her. She has a friend living there for a few years and we both want to go stay with her for a while before she comes home.
Now, I know what many of you are saying "Yeah right, Alice, on an airplane for 12 hours...yeah." And that's furrrshur. I would rather crawl on my bare knees through all the public bathrooms in the greater South Bend area than spend 10 seconds on an airplane. Though the very thought of either makes me want to vomit.
But, I really want to go to China. I really do. So we decided that after Christmas I would test my nerves with my precious supply of Xanax. On a Tuesday, so Merkle is home, I'm going to take 2 pills and have Merkle time me to see how long it takes before I'm so relaxed I start to drool. Then he's going to watch the clock for signs of me coming out of it. That way Carrie will know exactly when to alert the cardiologist (that we will arrange to be sitting next to me) that I need my next dose.
Okay, so good plans, yes? So I get home today from taking Lucky to the kennel and I say to Mark that I am going to go to China. Immediatly Emily goes up to her room and starts crying!!! And Grace is hanging on me saying "No, Mommy, no please don't go to China. Please Mommy don't go." And Mark is upset with me telling me "You're not going to China."


What's happened?

Come on people, I'm mostly talk. Don't you know this by now? And if I really do plan on going to China am I going in the next 5 minutes? No. Probably not. Please, though, let me have my dream...

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Where have you been!!

So, it has come to my attention that I haven't blogged in awhile...MOM!! I think I'd convinced myself that I no longer have anything to blog about since sending my kids to school and losing my dream job.

There has been a lot going on around here. Mostly cleaning. Here's what I don't get. Who shortened the length of the hour during the day? And why was I not informed? I'm telling you I send my kids off to school, come home, dance around the house to the sound of the angels singing hallelujah and then BAM! it's 2:45 and I have to go get them again. Wha??

So, I guess I should fill in my faithful readers...all 1 of you...Mom, pretend you didn't already know dream job may want me back. That's right, for those of you who didn't already know this Pages In Time was bought and the new owners plan to reopen early 2010. We found out on the last day our beautiful store was open. Our boss had us in early so we could all eat breakfast together. She made a wonderful bounty for us. Egg casserole, little links wrapped in bacon and brown sugar mmmmmm soooooo gooood. Anyway, Uncle Harry the Midwest's premier liquidator mogul told us the store had been bought and guess what?? They want to buy the staff. They'll be here in 15 minutes to meet you. I have anything in my teeth? How's my hair? Is my mascara running down my face? Arrrggh!!

Well, guess what? They were great! Really nice normal looking people. I hope they want me. They couldn't tell us much. Just that they wanted us to relax over the holidays and then email them to set up an interview. At that time they will let us know how many of us they can start with. I feel like that kid at recess..."oh please oh please oh please pick me" And all I can say is please let (okay I'm not naming names) be there. PLEASE!! (you are coming back aren't you ladies?)

Other than that...let's see...the girls had check ups and shots for Gracie. Is there anything cuter than kid size hospital gowns (when they're needed for something harmless):

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

From my friend Anne's blog...

Bravery Defined
My dearest friend Alice saved my life from a baby tarantula tonight. I know, I'm as shocked as you are to find out that Northwest Indiana is full of tarantulas, but it had to be. It was the BIGGEST spider I have ever seen! As we were leaving work she threw herself between me and the frightful beast so I wouldn't be attacked. She shielded me from its venomous bite by spraying it with deadly poisonous carpet cleaner. Not only did it not die, it walked away leaving a trail of poison behind. It slowed down and she was sure it was dead so, being the brave friend that she is, she poked it with a stick. She flipped it on its back but it wasn't dead and it flipped back over and started to walk away again! She decided not to play any more games and grabbed the Windex. Everyone knows that Windex to a spider is like sunshine to a vampire (which in fact spiders and vampires are very much alike because they both want to kill people). I ran for my car and locked the doors. I have never seen a truer display of bravery in all my life. I love Alice Merrill.