I have been facially profiled!

It's been going on for years. But until this morning at 11:30 I didn't know exactly what it was or why it was happening.
Let me give you the 411 (for those of you not in the know, that will be appearing in Street Talk with Lamanjillo under the root word "information") on what went down this morning:

So I'm in a new class that is just for teachers. It's my first class of that sort and p.s.
...I LOVE IT!!!
Anyway, so our professor (who is the shizzle, if I do say so myself) has been telling us stories about her experiences as an elementary teacher. They are hysterical! I find them completely fascinating. So today she's telling us about this student she had one time who had some disorder...COULDN'T TOUCH THE GROUND!!! I kid you not. Totally ground phobic. And I can hear your whispering to yourselves now "Oh No, please don't let Alice get this one." Quit it, I say.
Anyway, so I'm sitting there along with my fellow classmates with our eyes wide and jaws to the ground. She's telling us this poor kid would run into class like a bolt of lightening and jump onto his desk. Eventually she needed to place crates all around the room and into the potty so the kid could get through each day.
Now, I know you think I'm making this up but I assure you, I am not.
So I raise my hand and say "shouldn't someone have told you that this was coming?" My teacher says "ummmmm, no." And then I say "could you find out if the kid was getting help?" And she starts telling me that it is illegal to even ask (which is another story all together) and this my friends, is where the profiling began.
Now, I know that when most people look at me they hear doves cooing in the background and see butterflies fluttering 'round my head. So these "street smart" little just-out-of-high-school-thugs start saying to me "Dang girl, you need to get chureself to some South Bend public skew. You need tasee da re-al world, girl."
Oh. No.
Really? So because I find "fear of the GROUND!!" to be slightly off kilter, I apparently am living too sheltered of a life!?!?!? ARRRGGG!!!
Because I find "fear of the GROUND!!" a little off in left field, I am not living in the real world?!?!? ARRGGGG!!!
Keep Calm And Carry On, Alice! Gonna get an A...Gonna get an A...Gonna get an A...

P.S. Anyone want to guess how many times the word diversity has come up in this education class?